How to survive a breakup, how to cure a broken heart and glue fragments of shattered dreams? The answer is simple – start doing something.
In most cases, it is extremely hard to cope with breakup. Realizing we did not get the desired and the feeling were cheated deprives us from happiness and we start experiencing the strongest frustration that awakens bitterness, anger and a consequent desire for revenge.
Some indulge in self-humiliation, assuming responsibility for a failed relationship (or marriage), trying to shift this burden onto the shoulders of a former partner. By carrying on the negative emotions, we aggravate the suffering that drives ourselves into a dead end. In tragic cases, when one spouse dies, there is just numbness, where a person feels completely lost. Previous benchmarks lose their relevance. As the old formulas no longer work, understand the new experience becomes impossible.
There is no need of analysing the situation during this period. The brain continues to give labels, but this is only a temporary conclusions considering the state of mind under pressure. The same applies to emotions – it is not possible to get rid of them even if we so wish, but at the same time we should not let them succumb our mind.
One of the most effective ways to help yourself in this situation is to indulge in certain activities. To do something at the difficult time of life is a kind of heroism, as internal protest paralyzes the willpower and binds the hands. But if you undertake some activities without thinking about the past or future, you can touch the mysterious inner power forces, which will not only guide your through the painful period, but will also allow to get closer to hidden wisdom.
Any work is dynamic transformation, it breaks the internal state of stagnation. In addition, the work draws attention to the present time, to what is here and now, so that our brain switches to something constructive.
Any work also involves a sequence of three steps: beginning, continuation and completion, and it connects us to real life, which manifests itself as a change of all those phases. Finally, at some point the work comes into resonance with the state of our mind, so that we begin to feel how internal processes respond to important life changing events, and perceive the experience, which at first seemed unwanted.
My friend Martha lived with her husband for 10 years, when she suddenly found out the sad truth about her husband and another woman. She was left alone shortly after emotional discussion with her other half and over the next two weeks, Martha was constantly complaining about the fate and could not stop the tears. One morning she stepped into the kitchen and in spike of anger she took everything from cupboards and drawers onto the kitchen floor. Then she started scrubbing all those pots and pans to shine with such an anger that gave her determination to carry on. At the end, she brought the kitchen into perfect order, utilized the tools that were not used for years, she cleaned all cabinets and got rid of waste. But she did not stop there, the week after her apartment was tidy as many years ago. She bought new furniture and changed the curtains, no wonder the house looked amazing! Martha subconsciously found a way to not only express her emotions, but also to restore order in her apartment and soul. By organizing, cleaning and sorting she turned on the magical process, and a result she was able to accept the inevitable and start a new better life.
Feeling the impulse to action, or seeing an opportunity to make some work, we find the strength to respond to sad events in our lives. Stepping over the boundaries of heavy emotional experiences means promising a new life to yourself, and then find ourselves revived, wise and fearless.